Personal power is everything to do with what you believe and nothing to do with what they think. Decide that you’re doing what you’re doing to control them and their behaviour – not because you’re a victim of their manipulation. In the same way there is something they want from you, there will always be something you want from them (even if it is to avoid more of their toxicity). The secret is to make your decision from a position of power, rather than feeling controlled. Sometimes toxic people will trap you like a hunted thing – you know you don’t have to give in to them but you also know that there will be consequences if you don’t. Here are some powerful, practical ways to do that: If it’s not the people in your radar, it will be their impact on you.Ĭo-existing with toxics means going around them to set your own rules, then accepting that you don’t need them to respect those rules to claim your power. The thing is though, when you do something differently, things can’t help but change for you.
Save your energy for something easier, like world peace. With any discussion of toxic people, it’s important to understand that you can’t change anybody, so it’s best to stop trying. We live our lives in groups and unless we’re willing to go it alone – work alone, live alone, be alone (which is sometimes tempting, but comes with its own costs) – we’re going to cross paths with those we would rather cross out. They might be colleagues, bosses, in-laws, step-someones, family, co-parents … and the list goes on. We can always decide who we allow close to us but it’s not always that easy to cut out the toxics from other parts of our lives. Even if toxic people came with a warning tattooed on their skin, they might still be difficult to avoid.
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